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Potholes could be impeding drive-by mayhem

Unintended consequence: Potholes superior to ‘speed bumps’ in slowing speeding cars in drive-by shootings My son of the same name planted a plausible theory in my brain the other day about Compton’s unrelenting potholes. The

Unintended consequence: Potholes superior to ‘speed bumps’ in slowing speeding cars in drive-by shootings

My son of the same name planted a plausible theory in my brain the other day about Compton’s unrelenting potholes. The eyesores may have an otherwise strategic purpose  – crime busting!

Improbable, you say. Every motorist in Compton knows these “street craters” will bust the axle on your car, seriously misalign your wheel alignment, damage your shocks, and flatten your car’s tires.

But, did you ever think potholes might also take a bite out of crime? Why not? They take a bite out of everything else!

Consider: There are not only a few crumbling streets in Compton – but hundreds! How does even an inept system of city government allow hundreds of streets to fall into drastic disrepair all the while receiving tens of millions annually in state funding? That’s pretty reckless, but even a retarded mayor and four nincompoops on the City Council can figure out how to direct public works to fix such dangerous streets – right? Not calling the mayor and council ignoramuses. but you get the drift.

Who could hatch such an unlikely scheme to erode drive-by shootings? Perhaps City Hall, the County Sheriff’s Department, and the Department of Transportation in Sacramento conspired together?

For drive-bys to succeed, two things must work in unison – guns and wheels; guns to shoot intended targets, and wheels for quick getaways to the nearest freeway on ramp. After all, Compton is surrounded by freeways – 7, 91,109. 110, and 405. By the time the sheriff department is notified of a shooting, the assailants have fled the scene, more than likely to one of the five freeways.

Getting back to Compton’s ornery potholes, which are so large and deep, a four-wheel- drive vehicle – jeep, Hummer, off-road buggy or an M1A1 Abrams tank would have trouble traversing them.

Given that, how can vehicles without four-wheel drive negotiate these craters at getaway speed? Take a look at the street accompanying this commentary. No drive-by shooter is going to drive very fast down this street without the vehicle falling apart with wheels and hubcaps flying or flipping over.

They are not going to drive very fast anywhere. Not 30, 20 or 10 miles per hour.

Could it be that the battered streets of Compton were allowed to remain in their condition to take a bite out of drive-by crimes that so negatively has defined this town since the mid-1970s?

No one would ever concede to it, but drive-bys have decreased from peak periods when more than 100 people were dying every year from street-gang annihilation.

In just under the past 12 months, the County Sheriff Information Bureau reported that 27 people in Compton succumbed to gun violence. That’s nothing to do somersaults about, but it’s a far cry from 100 victims.

Perhaps potholes are the reason.

Satire with more than a pinch of truth.

 

 

 

 

Jarrette Fellows, Jr. is Publisher and Editor of Compton Herald. He attended junior and senior high school in Compton, and is an alumnus of California State University, Los Angeles.

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