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Love truly overcomes hate

'That man does not define me — my daddy and momma taught me that!'

Compton Herald | love over hate
Photo: Flickr/Stephen Melkisethian

When hate abruptly lashed out at a Good Samaritan, love conquered

EDITOR’S NOTE: One human being’s superiority complex over another due to skin color is an enduring problem throughout the globe and a sickness as old as recorded history. Superiority complex also manifests as racism, bigotry, and prejudice.

A friend, Patricia Ann Talley, who has defined her existence throughout her adult life as one bridging the gap between people of different racial extract, creating cultural understanding, harmony, and lifelong friendships, was ironically subjected to the very polar opposite recently at a public event in Zihuatanejo, Mexico. Talley, who is Black, was verbally abused by a White man  called a “nigger,” simply because she asked for his indulgence to cease to block her’s and a friend’s view at a crowded public event. Talley showed remarkable restraint, only retaliating with a smile, even as her friend broke down emotionally.

Ultimately, the triumph belonged to Talley, who would find herself immersed in an outpouring of love soon thereafter by hundreds of friends and acquaintances. What they had to say struck a chord for racial harmony and understanding.

What follows is a brief sketch of the encounter by Patricia and their heartfelt sentiments.


Compton Herald | Patricia Ann Talley, MBA

Patricia Ann Talley, MBA

A White American man called me a “f-ing n-r,” last night (Feb. 16)! I went to the street fair with my Canadian friend Lizzie Riley. It is an annual event to support the Fire Department in Zihuatanejo, [Mexico] where I have lived for 22 years. We were having a great time. Some tourists came and stood in front of our table, blocking our view of the stage. When I politely asked them to please move to the side, I was verbally assaulted by the White American man. I looked him straight in the eye and smiled at his ignorance. Lizzie had never witnessed anything like that before; she cried uncontrollably. We left so that I could comfort her. As I told her, that man does not define me — my daddy and momma (Barbara Talley) taught me that! And, why have I lived in Mexico for so long? Because here I can live with dignity and respect.

(Editor’s Note) Here is a partial sampling of the torrent of love that enveloped Patricia Talley:

Sue Carter: “This man does not represent the people of Zihua, we are all proud of our roots.”

Richard Kenney: “I am very saddened by your experience. I wish I had still been there with you two when it happened. But I probably would not [have remained] as dignified as you. I am truly sorry for you to have to experience this in this wonderful country or anywhere for that matter.”

Deb Kraemer: “Absolutely shameful! Glad you are strong; he is a nothing.”

Patricia Rivera: “Tocaya you are the best. This man for sure is empty; no heart and no brain.”

Richard Kenney: “A truly ugly American.”

Alejandra Llamas: “Dear, I going to share it.”

Timothy A. Killough: “I thought you were a lovely, nice person. I was very glad to meet you and your husband. If all humans could learn to rate a person by their actions and not their skin color. Way to keep your cool and not stoop to [his] level.”

James Adolphus: “Keeping cool is the reason he can go to a foreign country and do this to a Black woman.”

Timothy A. Killough: “Anger begets anger; what would you have done?”

Jessy Avendaño: La mente de ese hombre es están pequeña para entender la belleza de tu alma mamá! ya tenemos mucho racismo en México como para que venga el a faltarle al respeto aquí, la quiero.

Kieara Johnson: “So sorry about your experience. This has happened to me on too many occasions.”

Helene Last: “I am so disgusted and upset. How dare he. I wish you could have taken a picture of him. What a disgusting human.”

Maureen Nyhuis: “So sorry you experienced this racism here or anywhere for that matter.”

Beryl Jeffrey: “What an unspeakably ignorant person. You were magnificent!”

Victoria Ryan: “I am disgusted by this ugly American. I m proud of you. I would not have been kind nor calm, to my discredit. I feel a profound sadness and rage. I do not know why a racist American would even come down to Mexico.”

Rick Weiss: “Grrrrr.… He is lucky I wasn’t there! Sorry, you and your friend were exposed to this abuse. You are way classier than I am!”

Chenee D. Coleman: “[Some] White people act a fool no matter where they go. Just imagine, if he called you that, what he was calling the locals.”

Jodi Mackinnon Chu: “I thought something was up when I saw you walk by; you usually stop and talk to everyone.”

Marlet Denise Rey: ”Eres hermosa! bella por dentro y por fuera.”

Ron Cranford: “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth. God bless you!”

Diane Boelens: “I’m sorry for the rude behavior. Not all of us (White Americans) have lost our brain cells and compassion for others. God Bless!”

Cheryl Kaminsky: “Unfortunately racism still exists. You are a lady with more class in your baby finger than that American man’s entire body. He is an ignorant asshole. You continue to rise above.”

Eradiz Hernandez: “Que triste que todavía haya tanto estúpido e ignorantes te quiero amiguita eres linda abrazo. »

Mike Novotny: “Ignorance exists worldwide and unfortunately Zihuatanejo is not immune to it. The racist rude behavior is a direct reflection of the character of the individual only, not any community or society. Unfortunately, part of life is having to tolerate the presence of this type of ignorance. I personally trust there’s a place in hell for assholes like this and can only hope they get to visit there soon!”

James Adolphus: “Ignorant? Why do people keep using this euphemism? Ignorant is not bad. Children are ignorant … adults are ignorant. Ignorant is not a bad thing, so to use that word on this man is sort of like giving him a pass.”

Mary Sullivan: “He is plain stupid!”

Adam C. Wass: “I’m very sorry that happened to you. Some people are horrible and I admire the way you handled it. Could I ask how you know he wasn’t Canadian?”

Charly Brown Hernandez: “Next time take their picture and shame them on Facebook so that everyone knows what a piece of shit he is.”

Villas Paraíso Gomez Ricardo: “Mí querida amiga Patricia Ann Talley. México te recibe siempre con respeto y admiración por tus grandes virtudes tú dedicación a nuestro hermoso destino turístico siempre será reconocido al igual qué tú gran corazón.”

Balta Ramirez: “I am so sorry about what happened. We are all equal and apparently, this ignorant man will never know that.”

Ellen Storm: “Wow! What a horrible and shocking thing to have happened! There is something wrong with that man. Tourette’s syndrome, Alzheimer disease, alcoholic brain damage, Mad Cow disease? The problem that his parents were brother and sister? ¡Quién sabe!You are clearly a beautiful and classy woman loved by many.”

Lilia Rosa Martinez: “Querida mia, es irremediable ‘toparse’ a veces con este tipo de basura humana y hay mucha…Tu eres una reina, aqui te queremos muchisimo porque te preocupas y ocupas en ayudar a muchas personas…Tu eres fabulosa, un abrazo.”

Norma Jean Allen: “Proud of you for ‘going high!’”

Chucho Chilango: “Welcome to Mexico — we get those, weirdos every once in a while. They call us Indios, even they look worse than Indios, and that happened to me when I was playing at the Dorado Pacifico; two kids from Mexico City were calling me names, and their mother was so embarrassed when I told her I was being discriminated [against] in my own country by my own people.”

Cynthia Grubbs: “My sister, Patricia, I am sure you are not surprised that I had almost identical experiences. I so admire that you left the U.S. as I am considering for myself. Jamaica is so inviting to me.”

Maureen Murphy: “The [slur] insults us all and shows us that we all have work to do to stamp out racial discrimination. We all know that you, Patricia have been a leader in [advocating] human rights. Stand tall my friend. I admire and love you.”

Laura Kelly: “Wow … this is chilling, sad, infuriating, and scary — also inspiring (maintaining your calm, dignity, and awareness of how to handle it, based on your mother’s wisdom.That is his ignorance and his mental and character limitations do not define you.”

Michelle N Bob Colgrove: “So sorry you had to experience that. Praying you never have to go through something like that again. Honored to know you.”

Dawn Elizabeth Mantle: “Disgusting behavior by this man! Thank goodness he does not ‘define’ all American White men or American people for that matter.”

Mary Sullivan: “I am appalled, Patricia. I would have been out of control. Your mother taught you well! Love you, my friend!”

Chucho Chilango: « No vale la pena rebajarse al nivel de estupides de estas bestias. »

Carol Marchant: “So sorry someone called you anything except beautiful, friend.”

Debby Perkins: “Horrible!”

Damaris M. Smith: “My mind went blank as I was speechless. Wasn’t sure what to write first. My curse words to that man or my admiration and respect for you, Patricia Ann Talley. [Your] wisdom and dignity to handle the situation is remarkable.[You have] so much to teach.”

Richard Grabman: “Wow! I’d be flabbergasted to hear someone say that in the U.S. — and I’ve lived in the South — let alone used here [in Mexico].”

Rose Ann Moses: “I admire the way you handled that situation because ignorance doesn’t deserve one’s time nor energy dealing with foolishness.”

Giovanni Aparicio: “So let me get this straight; he’s in Zihuatanejo the southern part of Mexico where most people are dark skinned. He shouldn’t even be allowed to be there! Can you imagine what he thinks of the locals? Saludos.”

Colibrí AC Desarrollo Infantil: “Cuanto lo siento querida Patricia Ann Talley. Tu eres hermosa y digna. Al igual que todos nuestros hermanos Afrodescendientes de todos los paises del mundo. Una distinción tenerte en México, donde has aportado valiosas enseñanzas y el modelo de Educación para la Paz. Bendiciones, te respetamos y amamos en Colibrí AC Desarrollo Infantil.”

Maura A Taylor: “Unfortunately there are ignorant people everywhere. You did the best thing to ignore him and just smile in the face of hatred.”

Anthony Bonfiglio: “I’m not sure how you knew he was American, but wherever he was from doesn’t really matter. There are a lot of people in the world and overall a small percentage lack intelligence, morals, compassion among other things and that’s just the way it is. Just know that no matter where we are most people love and even will put their own lives in jeopardy just to help a stranger. I choose to believe most people are good.”

Yeni Ramirez Rosales: “Persona enferma. Mal educada.”

Paola Gonzalez Granados: « Nos rodean por todas partes personas destructoras. Mi admiración a tu carácter y enteresa en todo. Eres una gran mujer. Te quiero y admiro mi adorada Patty. Te extraño desde Querétaro.”

Glen Novey: “Good for you, Patricia. I wish I’d been there. I’d had him arm locked on his knees, begging to apologize. It smells of Trump.”

Maria Kuri: “No te conozco personalmente pero admiro tu razonamiento.Tenemos un dicho : a palabras necias, oidos sordos. Ese tipo de gente, llena de prejuicios y odio, no puede dar más que lo que tiene dentro. Dan lástima! »

Peggy L Allan: “Patricia, so very sorry to hear about your terrible experience. It’s so very sad our world is not accepting of the beautiful differences each and every person beholds. You handled that awful situation with pride and grace.”

Pepe Mil Sombreros: “Hasta 2018 este se sigue viviendo, hay mucha discriminacion y racismo, espero que las cosas cambien en un futuro, todos somos iguales en este planeta. Saludos amiga. »

Lakida Kemp: “What an ignorant asshole!”

Deborah Bradley: “Right on my sista! Love you girl”

Compton Herald is a digital news publication providing clear, fair and current news, information and commentary about Compton, the Los Angeles metropolitan area, Los Angeles County, California, and the world.


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